“Ahhh….what a beautiful thing we had! What a run. I think we had our time? I don’t know…I wanna be with you even more, but you’re just so perfect….and I just don’t know!” -My Thoughts

Yeah well, I just love her. I wanna talk to her all the time and literally I wanna think about her. It just gets so nice between us. Our thing doesn’t have a name. Its just that, yeah…the day feels incomplete without talking to her. And its really become a habit!!! And all of these lines, all of them, Said by her. She’s so smart. She’s just perfect man. I love her. I hope she accidentally clicks on the link and reads this because I really don’t have the guts to say it to her, and also because if I say it the wrong way, it ruins our thing. She’ll think I’m overthinking. And maybe I am. Am I? Ohhhhhhhh. God I just wanna talk to her all the time. We can be so good together, only if nothing comes between us, and that’s just not possible. I mean we are soo goood. We really are. Its just a blessing to have even experienced this kind of a thing. I’m so thankful to her for everything she’s done, every word she’s said, every word unsaid, and all the love she’s given me. I dont think I could ever return all of that in any way. I’m just really selfish and won’t be able to look past my wishes and needs. God I hate myself for that.

But I can change myself. I can do it. I just need to accept the fact that this nameless thing that we have, ‘Our thing’, it is much greater than any thing we can ever have. Its just the climax of our time together, well it isn’t and things only get better but still. I need myself to know, and I’m really hoping that you do stumble upon this, I just need to kill those goddamn expectations that I have. Those stupid expectations of us to treat each other as if we’re in a relationship. God, I don’t even know what I’m writing but all of it kinda makes sense inside my head. I can’t give it the right words…

“I need to accept that a relationship isn’t necessary, we are more than friends, much more. If anything, all I can do is to change my thoughts and get us on the same page.”